I sent him a text last night.
I know I shouldn’t had, but I did. This is what I wrote:
Ara: Hello. I hope you are doing well. I’ve been going through my juicing reboot and well with work it keeps me busy. I’ve been approved for student loans, but it’s a pretty good sign so far I might head to London soon. Thinking of you. Have a good night.
I got James’s text this morning:
James: Morning. Glad you are doing well and keeping busy. I’m fine, plenty on work too with work and other admin bs. Take care.
I personally thought he was going to tell me to fuck off or not even reply, but I was surprised he wrote that. He said ‘other admin bs’ and if I was with him, I’d reply back with ‘ah babe you can do it! this is the life of a freelancer so deal with it’ or give him some sort of support, but today, I felt like I had some sort of power over him. He said ‘Take Care’ as to end it, but the whole of him putting ‘bs’ is like wanting me to question it. I know him.
I didn’t reply π
Why didn’t you reply?
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I haven’t told the story as to how he was moved to ask me to be his, and it would explain why I didn’t reply. I have been thinking of replying: as a friend, yes I should reply. As an ex-girlfriend, I shouldn’t. He left me. He need to feel that I’m moving on too and if I’m there, I will always be his security blanket. I was his security blanket twice and that is what I don’t want to be. If he is going to want me, he needs to feel the abandonment from me. I think for day 7, I will write about this. Thank you for asking though! I should had explained why I didn’t want to text him.
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I understand completely. Good job on your part for having the strength to not text him!
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Loveandflats, it’s been hard, but wha keeps me focused is the availability of going back to London and living my life to the fullest there. I’m sure I will find Mr. Right.
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